Lost for words
by Vientodiosa
Summary: Daryl comes back to the prison. Set after 3x15.


Note: Set after 3x15.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to The Walking Dead

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**Lost for words**

Daryl arrived back at the prison. After he got back on his feet and looked one last time at his brothers dead body, he had been running most of the way back with just a few walking breaks to catch his breath. He hadn´t stopped crying yet. He couldn´t. It hurt too much. But he knew he had to get away from that thing that was once his brother; his only family left in this world.

He saw the group sitting outside, debating about something. Everyone was there, even the baby. It was ridiculous. They looked like they were just waiting for someone to ring the dinner bell and get themselves killed.

When they stared at him, he saw Rick looking towards him, shocked - probably because of all the blood on his clothes - Merle's blood. "No, not Merle's", he corrected himself silently, "that 'thing's' blood that he became."

Carol rose with the baby in her arms, looking surprised and pitiful. Daryl guessed the second facial expression was because of the tears still streaming down his face.

And then there was Glenn. His face had a mixed reflection of worry and confusion and it went even paler with every step Daryl took to come closer, showing the total extent of blood and tears on Daryl's face and clothes.

Daryl was in no condition to talk about what happened. But he had to tell them that the Governor and his men were gearing up for this war and probably already on their way by now, otherwise Merle would have died for nothing.

So when he was in hearing distance without having to yell, he told them that they had to decide right now what they should do next. Stay and fight or leave and run for their lives. He wouldn´t give them the time to ask him how he knew, what happened or where Merle was. He barely made it through his speech without choking up on every word. He made sure no one was able to look into his eyes which were filled with pain and tears. When he finished telling them he disappeared inside, no longer able to stop himself from breaking down again.

The group started discussing what they should do. Most of them were scared and slightly panicked. Rick, Hershel and Michonne tried their best to calm the others down so that they could make a clear decision.

But Glenn couldn't think about all of this and went after Daryl. He didn't care if they had time for him to comfort Daryl, he just knew he had to be there for him now. He found Daryl in his holding cell upstairs, punching the wall, shaking, breathing unevenly and weeping bitterly.

Glenn tried to hold him, but Daryl started shoving him away and hitting his chest. Glenn didn´t object. He didn't say or do anything, he just let Daryl release his emotions, just like he allowed Rick once.

After a while Daryl stopped hitting him and just fell sobbingly into his arms. They both fell onto the mattress, Daryl on top of Glenn who was more or less sitting with his head leaning against the wall.

Glenn tightened his grip on Daryl as he broke into a passion of tears on his chest. For a moment he was reminded of the situation on the rooftop, when Daryl cracked for a brief time as Merle wasn't there, but then the difference hit him and he knew what must have happened.

That wasn't just the desperate crying of someone losing his big brother without knowing where he went or if he was still alive convinced that he must be somewhere safe and sound. This was the heart wrenching sobbing of a man who just lost the only family he had left after finally getting him back and trying to make things right for everyone. Judging from the blood on Daryl's clothes, he was forced to take him out. Having not just to process losing him, but having his brother look at him without knowing who he was and wanting to eat him - to kill him the most painful way ever imagined, when this was the only thing Merle would have never wanted to do. Merle would have never hurt his little brother.

Glenn tightened his grip around Daryl even more. He couldn't imagine how much pain he must feel right now. So he just let him know he was there and he would stay and comfort him as long as he needed him. He wouldn't leave him unless he wanted him to and even then he would stay close.

They sat like this for another 20 minutes. Daryl just stopped sobbing when Carl came up the stairs, telling them they decided to leave and that no life was worth losing the prison no matter how safe the place seemed. Glenn nodded into his direction, showing Carl he understood and that they would be right there in a minute.

After Carl was out of his sight again, Glenn took Daryl's head, which was resting on his chest, with both of his hands, holding it up just enough so that he could look at him. He brushed away the last tears that were escaping from Daryl's eyes with his thumbs and then he put a gentle kiss on his forehead.

He didn't needed words to tell Daryl that he won't be alone and that he will take care of his shattered heart. Words wouldn't even half cover what he wanted him to know. Glenn's hand fell back onto Daryl's back, leaving Daryl looking into Glenn's eyes.

Merle's death still pained Daryl more that he could ever truly put into words. Having to take Merle out even more than his death alone. His brother went off playing the hero, leaving him behind once more, but this time because he wanted him to live the life he had chosen to fight for, if the group decided to do so. He sacrificed himself for the greater good of his little brother, knowing that he had at least redeemed himself completely in the eyes of the only one that ever mattered to him, the one who never doubted he could become a true part of the group and the man he always was deep down, under this shell he kept up. And he did. In that brief moment before Merle died, he used their connection a last time, not just to let Daryl know he was dying and sorry for not taking care of him the way he always wanted to anymore, but also to tell him how proud he was of him and how much he hoped for him that whatever they decided would play out the way he wished for and that he would end up happy.

Daryl knew he would find his brother dead when he was looking for him, he could feel it when Merle took his last breath. But he just didn't prepare himself for finding him as a walker and having to face him in the soulless shell that was only there to bring more death. It was silly, he always hoped it would never come to this, even though it seemed to happen to everyone around him. He always hoped his big brother would never become one of the walkers and even if he did that he wouldn't have to be the one to take him out or face him before someone else did.

There was nothing Daryl could have said at that moment that would have expressed his gratitude towards Glenn for just being there for him and understanding without having to ask one question about what happened. He couldn't have answered it even if he wanted to. It hurt too much and he didn't dare to say it out loud - not yet. Putting Merle's death into words would make it reality too soon and he wasn't ready for it.

So he didn't say anything, not just because his voice wouldn't function due to all the sobbing, but because there was just one thing he could do to show Glenn how much it meant to him that he was there for him now - not letting him alone with his grief, and how much he meant to him in general.

Before another tear escaped his eyes, Daryl closed the small gap between them and kissed Glenn gently on the lips; saying more with one simple gesture than a thousand words could have ever done.


End file.
